I don’t feel okay
I don’t know what to say
In my mind there’s a mess
All I can do is stress
Stress about what should have been
It makes my mind spin
All I wanted to be
Was a better version of me
I wouldn’t be as fearful as I am
I wouldn’t give a dam
I would believe in me
Be who I wanted to be
Do the things I dream about
But all I do is doubt
Doubt about what I need to do
About how to get through
I want to be the one who knows
I want to be the one who chose
Chose this path I am on
Without thinking I’m doing it wrong
Ashamed I do feel
This feeling is very real
It’s there every day
I don’t want it to stay
I want to be able to love me
I want to feel free
I want to be okay
This is the way
The way I want to go
I need to show
Show myself there is no reason
To commit this treason
I need to believe I can do
All I want to
I have a reason to go on
I’m not doing anything wrong
©Ilona Brandwacht 01-09-2015